The Australia Times - TAT Girl magazine. Volume 2, issue 2

TATGiRL

THE

AUSTRALIA

TIMES

Photography Culture Poetry Art Food Music Fashion Life

Vol. 2 No. 2 April 2014

Amy Freund

Editor

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WHAT’S INSIDE?

Rachel Plank

Creative Editor

Amy Freund

Editor

Doing As The Romans Do 4

Nish Kumar Is A Comedian 8

Five Days of Denim 12

Zoe Kimpton Photography 22

Chickpeas and Other Men (Minus the Men) 30

BSKT The Label 34

One Surreal Moment 38

Saskia Agius Illustration 44

Once Upon A Fairytale 52

What Might Have Happened: Vol 1 - The Groom 60

Contributors:

Saskia Agius

Zoe Kimpton

Alexandra Saltis

Celeste Iuliano

Nish Kumar

Laura Moss

Stephanie Hughes

Amy Freund: amy.freund@theaustraliatimes.com.au

Rachel Plank: rachel.plank@theaustraliatimes.com.au

Tatgirl is a young fun magazine that incorporates art,

culture, food and creative and factual writings that are

interesting and exciting!

Our ultimate aim for the magazine is to a provide a

platform where young and upcoming journalists, pho-

tographers and enthusiastic individuals can have the

opportunity to be published, as well as creating an open

discussion for topics and events that are relatable to

the youth of Australia.

Based in Melbourne, TATGIRL has a wide range of con-

tributors from around Australia and has a contributor

age group from 15-25.

We welcome all sorts of feedback and suggestions, so

if you’d like to get involved and share a simple poem,

musing or story with Australia, please get in touch with

the TATGIRL team today!

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Most of us imagine Italy as a pic-

turesque country that is home to

beautiful rolling hills, friendly and

vibrant people, free owing wine

and good food. Indeed, this is an

image that tends to hold true when

you arrive there on holiday with

your suitcase in hand, ready to

see the famous sites. However, the

supercial tourist experience isn’t

always the most revealing or fulll-

ing. As the old saying goes, when in

Rome, do as the Romans do.

Recently I began a long tour of

Italy in its fascinating capital, and

I have had the unique privilege

of living with relatives just out-

side the city walls. In only a few

days I experienced a world of

contrasts that somehow both af-

rmed, and shattered most of my

preconceived notions about the

city and its people. Among the

things armed were the fact that

Rome is a breathtaking, vast, and

incredibly interesting place; there

are more things to do and see

there than one person could ever

have time for. But with my uncle

as a guide, I managed to see all

of the well known museums and

monuments, as well as the lesser

visited ones such as the ruins of

Ostia Antica, and the Domitilla

Catacombs. He also showed me

a side of Rome that I had never

conceived of. Tracing the daily

life of a local exposed me to road

rules that serve as mere sugges-

tions, post oces that refuse to

post letters, complicated queuing

systems, and historical monu-

ments that are crumbling because

DOING AS THE

ROMANS DO

By Celeste Iuliano

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there is not enough money to

restore them...or in some cases,

completely dig them up!

Experiencing the frustrating,

sometimes inconceivable, prob-

lems faced by Romans on a daily

basis was almost enough to make

me pack my bags and head to the

next city. Instead, I took it as an

opportunity to learn more about

the real modern culture that

exists alongside the rich history.

Isn’t that why we travel in the rst

place? By choosing to travel we

choose to see new places, meet

new people, and learn about

their lives, language, and culture -

good and bad. In my experience,

if you don’t take the time to talk to

the locals about their reality, you

are only getting half of the picture.

You may learn that not all things

are ideal, but you will still learn.

In fact, I learned some useful and

wonderful things, including:

Image by Amy Freund

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That some of the best bakeries

are hidden in the suburbs, and

that often they do not look.

That it is acceptable to eat des-

sert for breakfast, and that din-

ner is usually at 8pm or 9pm.

That sometimes being per-

sistant will get you further than

being polite.

That rain and cobblestones

won’t stop anybody from head-

ing out in high heeled boots.

That a little Italian can go

a long way to earning you a

discount.

That the locals are willing to

teach you the city’s secrets if

you just ask.

’ve greatly appreciated this

chance to step back from the

usually hurried and focused

tourist experience, and to view

Rome as a whole. I’ve seen it’s

best monuments, it’s worst driv-

ers, the smooth operation of its

restaurants, and its chaotic public

oces. What I’ve learned is that

there’s always more to a city than

any guide book can tell you, and

that what you’ll discover is often

a mixed bag. To experience the

true culture of a place you need

to wander from the road most

travelled and live as the locals

do. You will both be surprised,

and surprise yourself. I still have

months to go on my journey, and I

look forward to scratching beneath

the surface everywhere I go. I

know that I’ll uncover things that

make me want to laugh, cry, pack it

all in, and do it all over again.

Image by Rachel Plank

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Illustration by Rachel Plank

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IS A COMEDIAN

NISH KUMAR

THE MAN WITH A STOLEN FACE

Imagine waking up tomorrow and seeing your face splashed all

over the viral realm, your identity an Internet phenomena, spread-

ing across the whole world before your very eyes? This incredulous

moment was felt by comedian Nish Kumar last year, when his iden-

tity was blatantly stolen by an anonymous group and used as the

face of the meme “The confused Muslim.”

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image: MICS Media

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New to the Australian comedy scene and

fresh out of a sellout season from London’s

Soho theatre, Kumar brings his show “Nish

Kumar is a comedian” to Melbourne’s come-

dy crowd, focusing on identity and anonymity

in the internet realm.

“I like my comedy to be about really serious

and big subjects, and examine them in quite a

stupid way.”

Kumar pokes fun at his own experiences of

what identity means to him, dotted with his in-

cidents growing up with an “ethnically ambig-

uous face,” as well as British binge drinking

and parent disappointment, all accompanied

by visuals of the actual memes that became

such a viral phenomenon.

Kumar heads back to the Edinburgh festival

where it all began this August with a new

show, one he has based on the topic of sub-

jectivity, mainly focusing on why people love/

hate his comedy.

“I’m obsessed with the idea of what drives

opinion, blog culture and how it has become

less important to justify our own opinions

when anonymity is just a mouse click away.”

Kumar, not a Muslim himself, was placed at

the forefront of Islamic jokes and racist com-

ments, the meme extracting his face from a

promotional video for the Edinburgh comedy

festival and catapulting him headﬁrst into the

world of the “meme.”

“I didn’t even know what these [memes]

damn things were when it ﬁrst happened.

I found out through a friend, who was on a

meme website and thought I’d done some

weird type of viral marketing and called me

to laugh at what I’d done, and was surprised

when I had no idea and was like ‘what? Why

did this happen!”

Bur rather than hiding under his pillow and

waiting for the meme to run its course on the

interwebs, Kumar’s response to this surreal

experience is an hour of hilarious comedy that

focuses on what it’s like to have your identity

stolen, the nature of oﬀence, and just how

damn funny these situations really are.

“You never really stop to think of the backstory

of people in memes, people sometimes really

have no idea what’s going on, and just jump of

the convenient oﬀence bandwagon because

it’s the trend that week, I just still don’t under-

stand why it’s my face?”

“NISH KUMAR IS A COMEDIAN”

is playing at the Melbourne town hall

at 9:45 every night except Mondays

until the end of the festival.

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DAYS

DENIM

By Laura Moss

Denim is an intrinsic component to every wardrobe. Yet there is

a noticeable change this autumn, with the humble jean taking on

unexpected guises. As the cooler days approach, now is the best time

to indulge in this season’s washes, prints and lengths. I’ve got your

Monday to Friday denim dilemmas sorted.

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Boy meets girl in this instance.

The boyfriend jean encapsu-

lates everything on-trend this

season – street style inspired

from your boyfriend’s cup-

board. Don’t have a boyfriend?

Don’t be deterred. Premier

denim brands, Nobody Jeans

and Lee have produced perfect,

slouchy renditions. Opt for a

lighter shade of denim, cropped

just above the ankle. The more

frayed and exploited the fab-

ric, the better. Team them with

structured pieces and so sil-

houettes to achieve the perfect

autumn ensemble. It’s never

been so chic, to look like one of

the boys.

Fashion word of wisdom: Avoid

fashionable frays turning into

gapping holes by spritzing hair-

spray over the distressed areas.

Nobody Jeans

Beau Boyfriend in Saltie Denim

$229

Link: http://www.gluestore.com.au/nobody-beau-boyfriend-jeans-in-saltie-denim.html

Image by www.gluestore.com.au

Monday:

BOYFRIEND

JEANS

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Dotti

The Boyfriend Jean

$49.95

Link: http://www.dotti.com.au/shop/en/dot-

ti/bottoms/jeans/the-boyfriend-jean

Image by www.dotti.com.au

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Gone are the days when patch-

work denim was associated

with farmers in overalls, or your

grandmother’s handcraed

quilts. The cool contrast of

dark and light panels unsys-

tematically arranged over high

wear areas, such as the knees

and buttocks, create an edgy

vibe. The patchwork trend

was adopted by a number of

designers at Mercedes-Benz

Fashion Week earlier this year,

including Tommy Hilﬁger and

Marc Jacobs. Be that as it may,

patchwork fabric shouldn’t be

limited to shades of denim.

Textured animal embossed

leather; ﬂoral crape, suede and

tartan have given eminence to a

number of pieced and patched

combinations. This conceptual

use of denim will undoubtedly

add a little (or a lot) of diversity

to your everyday staple.

ASOS

Bradly low-rise slim boyfriend

jeans in vintage wash with

patchwork detail

$89.12

Link: http://www.asos.com/au/ASOS/ASOS-Brady-Low-Rise-Slim-Boyfriend-Jeans-in-Vin-

tage-Wash-with-Patchwork-Detail/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3513520&WT.ac=rec_viewed

Image by www.asos.com.au

Tuesday:

PATCHWORK

PANTS

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Cheap Monday

Tight Printed Patch Blue Jean

$100.11

Link: http://www.nastygal.com/clothes-bot-

toms-denim/cheap-monday-tight-printed-

patch-blue-jean

Image by www.nastygal.com

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Dark shades of denim are the

epitome of cool, and will inevita-

bly become the heart and soul

of your wardrobe this season.

Whether you wear your deeper

denim hues cuﬀed, slashed,

tapered or above the waist,

you’ll be craving the sophisti-

cated eﬀortlessness rich indigo

or faded grey contribute to your

budding winter wardrobe.

Fashion word of wisdom: Buy a

size smaller. Regardless of how

tight they feel or how much they

restrict your ability to move, eat

or breathe, overtime denim will

stretch. This is a fact. Keep this

in mind particularly if you are

investing in raw denim. Den-

im is usually washed aer the

dye has been applied, whereas

raw denim skips the washing

process. Which means once

they have been washed several

times by you, they will fade in

colour and give in size.

J Brand

Photo Ready Tail Zip in Grey

Cascade

$363.70

Link: http://www.asos.com/au/ASOS/ASOS-Brady-Low-Rise-Slim-Boyfriend-Jeans-in-Vin-

tage-Wash-with-Patchwork-Detail/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3513520&WT.ac=rec_viewed

Image by www.asos.com.au

Wednesday:

DARK WASH

DENIM

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Mauvi

Kylie in black

$129.99

Link: http://www.mavi.net.au/kylie/w1/

i1041886/

Image by www.mauvi.net.au

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Runways and shopfronts in

2013 were occupied with wet-

look, sheen fabrics and pletha

(plastic leather). This autumn

the tough moto-inspired trend

has remerged, although in

2014 the devil is in the detail.

Multi panel motorcycle denim

jeans have taken sporty luxe

to a whole new level. Mesh

patterned panels; quilted

embellishment, zippers and

badges are just a few standout

ingredients that decorated the

14/15 Autumn/Winter run-

ways. For the ultimate look,

pair with a cropped leather

jacket and tartan scarf (motor-

bike not essential).

Fashion of wisdom: Think twice

before pressing start on the

top loader. Like all other indis-

pensible life provisions (Ben &

ASOS

Farleigh high waist slim mum

jeans in vintage wash with

90s mono badges

$89.12

Link: http://www.asos.com/au/ASOS/ASOS-Farleigh-High-Waist-Slim-Mom-Jeans-in-Vintage-Wash-with-

90s-Mono-Badges/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3599536&WT.ac=rec_viewed

Image by www.asos.com.au

Thursday:

BIKER-INSPIRED

JEANS

Jerry’s ice ream and pizza), your

jeans should also spend some

time in the freezer. The ‘denim-

in-the-freezer’ myth began with

coated or waxed pants, in order

to preserve the shape, colour

and ﬁt. Your denim will also

beneﬁt from this old wives’ tale.

Place your jeans in the freezer

overnight and hang them up

in the bathroom while you’re

showering the next day. This will

allow them to absorb the steam.

Any crinkles and creases will

have vanished, and your jeans

will be just as they were the day

you bought them.

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The reinstatement of the ﬂared

trouser will see you revisiting

the classic denim look from

the ‘70s this season. The wide

legged pant is a timeless trend

that is proportionally gratifying

and unequivocally sophisticat-

ed. Elect a ﬁtted style that ex-

tends out just above the knee,

in deep cobalt or a crisp white.

Both of these on-trend washes

will provide you with legs for

days, in addition to modernising

the bohemian inspired look.

However successfully execut-

ing the ‘70s bell-bottom will

depend greatly on the way you

choose to accessorise. Sticking

to sculptured leather pieces

and tailored blazers will carry

you eﬀortlessly from board-

room to bar.

Rachel Zoe

Rachel Flare Jean

$172.66

Link: http://www.shopbop.com/rachel-bootcut-jean-zoe/vp/v=1/845524441932032.

htm?folderID=2534374302064886&fm=other-shopbysize&colorId=12397

Image by: www.shopbop.com

Friday:

70s STYLE

DENIM

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Zoe Kimpton

Photography by

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CHICKPEAS

AND OTHER MEN (MINUS THE MEN)

From all of my foodie adventures,

my tastebuds are constantly tanta-

lised by the same ﬂavour, be it that

strange concoction known as tahini,

traditional Indian curries or even the

modest celery stick and dip com-

bo, chickpeas have taken over my

eating life, so much so that I will pick

a meal no matter how disgusting it

sounds, purely for the ingredient of

the chickpea, I love it sick!

To be honest, I have absolutely no

idea where this obsession came

from! Normally I have an event or

situation which gives me the love

of a certain food, but this time, my

love of chickpeas has been a more

gradual experience, turning into a

kind of love that lasts forever, one

that can never be broken!

I suppose for the sake of saving this

turning into a love letter to my be-

loved chickpea, I can summon up

one particular experience where I

truly realised my love for chickpeas,

and in fear of sounding like a giant

hippie, it was at lentil as anything!

It all started on one typically

freezing Melbourne night, one

that 25 coats and 13 scarves can’t

cure. I had managed to pack 4 of

my friends into my pocket sized

envelope of a car and were driving

around aimlessly in search of a

good vegetarian place to eat that

wasn’t a trendy and expensive

“hipster hideout,” when my friend

mentioned a place that ran “out

the back of a church somewhere.”

Intrigued by this mysterious ren-

egade restaurant, we spent 25

minutes getting totally confused on

how to get there and the GPS inev-

itably taking us in circles until ﬁnally

we got to the “hidden location,” the

only knowledge that anything was

there was a scattering of people

outside the church grounds.

As soon as we walked into the

grounds I knew we were in for a

treat, the line was immense, and

the food looked warm; the only

prerequisite to me eating that

night. We ﬁnally got through the

door and I caught a glimpse of the

modest buﬀet, a few silver trays of

food, water jugs and chai tea from

a small window. I was immediately

drawn to the chickpea curry not

quite knowing why, the texture

looked pretty nice and I thought it

would be my best hope of second

helpings and took a giant scoop.

And that magic moment when

those chickpeas entered my mouth

was when I truly realised the love

I had for the humble chickpea.

The texture, the pop of colour on

my plate, the taste as it dissolved

on my tongue was one of those

divine moments that I will treasure

my whole life. Even though it may

have been the warm food and the

hot chai tea on that miserable day

that warmed my body and gave

me shivers down my spine, I really

think it was attributed to those

magical chickpeas in that curry.

So now I end what has become an

ode to the chickpea in the most

traditional way, I of course married

the chickpea, and we lived happily,

ever, aer.

The end.

“lentil as anything” is A non for

proﬁt organisation that runs on

donations from diners, runs out the

back of Abbotsford convent and

comprises of a vegetarian buﬀet.

To ﬁnd out more, visit http://lentila-

sanything.com/

BY AMY FREUND

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CHICKPEAS

AND OTHER MEN (MINUS THE MEN)

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image: inhabitat.com

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Images: BSKT The Label

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With the over-expensive retail indus-

try heading down the tubes, the world

has moved to online shopping for their

fashion x. Many people have chastised

online shopping for damaging the retail

market, shaming all who choose to buy

from the convenience of their bedroom

rather than in store with a pushy sales-

person breathing down their neck as

lazy and “economy crushers”.

As true as that may seem to the com-

mitted shopaholic, online shopping is

now the way forward for young design-

ers and new and upcoming labels, the

online avenue of buying and selling

clothing enabling young designers to

showcase their designs and develop a

line years ahead of when it would be

nancially viable to create a stand alone

store.

Young designer Tiana Kelbel is one of

the many using the online shopping

spree to her advantage, launching her

website “BSKT the label” this month,

which sells and is soon beginning to

design clothing that are on trend, af-

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‘‘

Life is too short, and I had to nally stop thinking and

planning and take action on following my dreams.

—Tiana, creator

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fordable and easy to purchase from the

comfort of the shoppers bedroom.

“i’ve always been into fashion

but wanted to work my way

through the extremely compet-

itive and challenging industry

my own way. By making my

own online store I’m able to

explore my creative side that

involves writing and designing

as well as thrive on my love for

fashion and style.”

Tiana, aged 20, is currently still at uni-

versity and hopes to further develop her

label and have a self-made business that

supports her nancially by the time she

nishes study, something that would’ve

been a mere pipe dream without the

ability to sell online. So for anyone who

isn’t already on it, support young de-

signers and get aboard the online shop-

ping bandwagon!

check out BSKT THE LABEL on their

website http://bsktthelabel.com/

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ONE

SURREAL

MOMENT

A Harry Potter and Magic Fara-

way Tree enthusiast, I believe in

the power of imagination, writ-

ing, reading and learning. I love

observing the world and people

with a hot chocolate in hand and

I never say no to a good meal. I

try to be artistic, but often don’t

succeed, and resort to trying (and

failing) to be funny instead. I have

an unhealthily large collection of

scarves and a passion for anything

turquoise. I’m currently in Flor-

ence studying for a semester over-

seas, and I cannot wait to explore

the rest of the world.

By Alexandra Saltris

Photography by Rachel Plank

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Casually exiting an apartment in Rome, turn

a corner and BAM! Monument courtesy of

the Ancient Romans. From someone who has

always lived in the same suburban lull of Mel-

bourne, seeing traces of history from a time

so long ago is incomprehensible and surreal. I

feel like so much of travelling is this way. You

see something that is beautiful, perhaps be-

cause innately beautiful as a historical site or

because it is so forlorn and lonely that it has

become beautiful over time and it is difficult

to comprehend. Maybe because of the contrast

between my Melbourian life and this rich,

historical, full and famous culture. Or maybe

it is that, due to the life that I live in Aus-

tralia- very rushed, savouring nothing- it is

a wonderful shock to have something obvious

and monumental to see and savour nudged

live and it is wonderful to learn how to appre-

ciate and slow down and actually know each

moment that you have. Each surreal moment.

I’ve learnt that reflection is the key to actual-

ly appreciating what you see when you travel.

Actually thinking about things rather than

just seeing them means you begin to appreci-

ate what you’re seeing rather than just using

your $2000 camera to take a photo, and then

moving on to the next sight in such a hurry

that no feeling could sustain that moment of

beauty in your memory. The culture of sight-

seeing lets us know nothing more than what

we can learn from browsing some well-filtered

photos on Google images. But standing out the

front of the Pantheon, imagining the Ancient

Romans standing where you are now and

visualising the profound significance of the

building that you are gazing at- a significance

which is cultural, religious, political, archi-

tectural and historical- helps that surreal mo-

ment become a moment of conscious thought

and appreciation. This idea that you take a

photo and move on is becoming very strange

to me. It seems that people want proof that

they have been to the Colloseum rather than a

memory of what it was like to be there- the at-

mosphere and the feeling of being overwhelmed

and, unfortunately, the obligatory crowd of

American tourists with their over-exclaiming

voices and their harsh accents.

This, I suppose, is what they mean by ‘learn-

ing by experience’. We have to really experi-

ence by seeing and thinking and understand-

ing and then we have to learn by reflecting.

And if you get lost exploring a city, all the

better! If you don’t have the mildest idea of

how to venture back to that great gelateria,

no worries! If you wish you could find that

secret hub of activity but you can’t no mat-

ter how hard you look, don’t stress! Because

the adventure itself, if you are conscious and

if you try and understand it, will lead you

somewhere else that you are meant to be. Or

it will give to you and emotion that you’ve

not yet experienced. Or it will teach you that

you are only one fish in this very big ocean

and that often, what you think is the end of

the world, is in fact nothing at all. Often by

reflecting while you travel, you understand

that you are both terrifyingly and wonderful-

ly insignificant. Without this understanding,

we cannot appreciate anything. For it is only

when we admit that we are very little that

we can appreciate things all over the world

that are greater than us, more significant and

infinitely more sustainable.

Italian culture itself also encourages this

approach of consciousness. Italians do

everything consciously and live in the mo-

ment more than we do in Melbourne. Every

ordinary moment is made incredible with a

piece of pizza from a hidden pizzeria, or a 2

Euro bottle of wine being sipped in a piazza

late at night. Every moment is made to be

something special by the food, the chatter and

the (thankfully) complete and utter absence of

any iPhones at the dinner table. They speak

with gusto. They eat with gusto. They walk

with gusto. And by being so full of this ener-

gy for life, and for pasta and for other people,

they live consciously and, I think, proper-

ly. The Italian culture has its roots in time

immemorial; it is older and therefore wiser

and so has much to teach everyone who comes

to it. Eat some pasta, don’t worry about your

waistline and live a little in each moment.

So this is what travelling has taught me-

look like you’ve never seen, breathe like its

necessary and walk like you have nowhere to

go. If you begin to think that you and your

experience are more important than the

awe-inducing things that you will inevitably

see, you will miss the moment. Perhaps that

one surreal moment that you miss will be the

one that could have changed you.

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Illustration by Rachel Plank

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SASKIA AGIUS

ILLUSTRATION

Independent Media Inspiring Minds

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SASKIA AGIUS

ILLUSTRATION

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Independent Media Inspiring Minds

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Independent Media Inspiring Minds

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Independent Media Inspiring Minds

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Independent Media Inspiring Minds

Once Upon a Fairytale …

Photography by Rachel Plank

Independent Media Inspiring Minds

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WHAT MIGHT

HAVE HAPPENED:

VOL 1 - THE GROOM

By Stephanie Hughes

You can do this, James thinks (even his in-

ner voice shakes) as he tightens his bowtie

with sweaty hands shaking.

‘Come on mate,’ calls Wayne from the

doorway. James spins his head to face him

and bleats a pitiful acquiescence before

turning back to his pallid reection.

Can I?

He imagines Rebecca seeing him like

this, and then suddenly, he realises he is

already on the altar. Fear smothers him.

How did I get here? And Bec- she is at

the far end of the aisle, then time, like

an old record, skips, and she is at the

middle without taking a step, and then

she is beside him with tears and teeth

shining pearlescent - Bec is here already.

eir hands are held.

I don’t know her, he thinks while she

chokes through her vows and the au-

dience weeps. Mothers, mostly. Wayne

takes photos.

e more I nd out about her, the more I

realise that, he thinks as he recites his, an

eortless performance, an inevitable conse-

quence of months of practice.

How can I join my life with a total stranger?

‘I do,’ she says.

And then it is his turn.

He hesitates.

And Rebecca sees it too. e smile slowly

slides from her face. Her chin drops and

she pulls it back a little. Her eyebrows

imperceptibly jolt up in the middle, her

eyes droop at the sides.

Her mongrel look of disbelief, fear and

desperation.

He knows this look. He almost laughs

with relief. He knows it.

‘I do,’ he says, because he really does

love her, and knows that even though he

can’t predict who she will be, he (mostly)

knows who she has been, and that is what

he loves, and that is enough for him.

e front doors y open and the bride

and groom skim the staircase like silk;

Wayne, a loyal pup, follows them and

snaps photos.

Image by Rachel Plank

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WHAT MIGHT

HAVE HAPPENED:

VOL 1 - THE GROOM

‘James,’ Bec says breathlessly as they

cross the road, heading to the reception

half a block away. ‘I have wonderful

news.’ Snap.

‘What’s that, sweet?’ he replies.

She squeezes his hand, and squeals, ‘I’m

pregnant!’ Snap.

Bec looks down and away, and Wayne

holds his camera down to let a young

woman pass him. She catches my empty

gaze, and concern itters across her face

momentarily. What does she see here?

A blissful bride, a vacuous, disbelieving

and terried groom, and the persistent

shadow of a photographer? Snap.

And then she passes us, and I am

alone again.

Snap.

I need to be alone.

SNAP.

James suddenly stops and lets go of

Rebecca’s hand.

‘Darling,’ she says, worried, demanding,

‘Come on.’

‘I need to be alone,’ James says and loos-

ens his bowtie. ‘I can’t do this.’

‘James, I don’t understand.’ She shakes

her head, icking away the buzzing insects

that are her uncontrollable surroundings.

James thrusts the tie into Wayne’s hand.

‘Congratulations, buddy,’ James says.

‘You’ve got a real winner.’

‘Mate,’ Wayne starts, but James cuts

him o.

‘I don’t know either of you!’ he shouts. ‘At

least I thought I did until I saw you to-

gether, the end result being gestated as we

speak. Have a ripper life, the pair of you. I

deserve better.’

And James hails a taxi, climbs inside, and

says, ‘Airport, please.’

When they arrive, he sighs and looks at

his hands. He ngers the ring there, then

pulls it o and gives it to the driver. ‘Keep

the change.’

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