Page 20 - FICTION
P. 20
THE TIMES ®
AUSTRALIA
Clearly news of the sale of the slice to the museum to use less wood in each cross, there was no doubt
spread through whatever network it is that museums that the wood supply was rapidly diminishing.
have for spreading that kind of news and Davey
was able to slice off and sell four more pieces. By Davey was a transformed man. No longer unshav-
the time the fourth slice had been cut off, though, en and unkempt, he was now every inch the busi-
even Davey had to admit that it was starting to look nessman. The hedges and ditches were trimmed
a little less like Jesus than it had in the beginning. In and tidied and fower borders dug round the edges
fact it was starting to resemble John Lennon more of the car park. The fences and stands round the
than a little. At least he’d have a fall back business, ‘Holey Tree’ were smart and sturdy and the café
he thought, if the Jesus thing started to decline. He had been upgraded to a semi permanent building.
decided not to sell any further slices though. A picnic area and small play area for the children
was added, as well as a petting area (one pound
The tree was now considerably smaller than it had per child) with one sheep and one goat.
been when he started. Several of the big branches
had gone entirely in the manufacture of the cruci- Still the numbers of visitors continued to increase,
fxes, though demand was higher than ever. Davey though the tree trunk was starting to crack as the
could see, though, that at this rate there’d be noth- wood dried out. There was now a shelter over
ing left by Christmas. what remained of the main trunk to keep the public
dry during their visit. The portrait looked more than
The prices for admission and parking went up, as ever like John Lennon as the timber aged and the
well as a ban on photography in the hope of boost- stain began to fade in places.
ing postcard sales. The café had expanded to in-
clude ‘a Holey Tree breakfast’ and ‘a Holey Tree Davey began to worry that his cash cow had a
cream tea’. Although he had little knowledge of limited life. In particular the supply of wood for the
what exactly it was, Davey was persuaded to pay crucifxes was now getting critical. If he cut any
for the setting up of a website on the internet and de- more of the large branches off the tree he would
mands for the ‘Holey Tree Crucifx’ went through the have to start advertising it as the ‘Holey Log’ in-
roof. Davey now had two local carpenters making stead of the ‘Holey Tree’.
them as fast as they could. Despite his exhortations
Barnaby Wilde
BARNABY WILDE is the pen name of Tim Fisher. Tim was born in 1947 in
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West
Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in
manufacturing and Quality Control for a multinational photographic
company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other
interests.
He is the published author of seven volumes of Quirky Verse, fve
volumes of Short Stories, and a series of Detective Stories. He has two
grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.
You can fnd out more about Barnaby Wilde and his books at
www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
20 Independent Media Inspiring Minds
AUSTRALIA
Clearly news of the sale of the slice to the museum to use less wood in each cross, there was no doubt
spread through whatever network it is that museums that the wood supply was rapidly diminishing.
have for spreading that kind of news and Davey
was able to slice off and sell four more pieces. By Davey was a transformed man. No longer unshav-
the time the fourth slice had been cut off, though, en and unkempt, he was now every inch the busi-
even Davey had to admit that it was starting to look nessman. The hedges and ditches were trimmed
a little less like Jesus than it had in the beginning. In and tidied and fower borders dug round the edges
fact it was starting to resemble John Lennon more of the car park. The fences and stands round the
than a little. At least he’d have a fall back business, ‘Holey Tree’ were smart and sturdy and the café
he thought, if the Jesus thing started to decline. He had been upgraded to a semi permanent building.
decided not to sell any further slices though. A picnic area and small play area for the children
was added, as well as a petting area (one pound
The tree was now considerably smaller than it had per child) with one sheep and one goat.
been when he started. Several of the big branches
had gone entirely in the manufacture of the cruci- Still the numbers of visitors continued to increase,
fxes, though demand was higher than ever. Davey though the tree trunk was starting to crack as the
could see, though, that at this rate there’d be noth- wood dried out. There was now a shelter over
ing left by Christmas. what remained of the main trunk to keep the public
dry during their visit. The portrait looked more than
The prices for admission and parking went up, as ever like John Lennon as the timber aged and the
well as a ban on photography in the hope of boost- stain began to fade in places.
ing postcard sales. The café had expanded to in-
clude ‘a Holey Tree breakfast’ and ‘a Holey Tree Davey began to worry that his cash cow had a
cream tea’. Although he had little knowledge of limited life. In particular the supply of wood for the
what exactly it was, Davey was persuaded to pay crucifxes was now getting critical. If he cut any
for the setting up of a website on the internet and de- more of the large branches off the tree he would
mands for the ‘Holey Tree Crucifx’ went through the have to start advertising it as the ‘Holey Log’ in-
roof. Davey now had two local carpenters making stead of the ‘Holey Tree’.
them as fast as they could. Despite his exhortations
Barnaby Wilde
BARNABY WILDE is the pen name of Tim Fisher. Tim was born in 1947 in
Hertfordshire, United Kingdom, but grew up and was educated in the West
Country. He graduated with a Physics degree in 1969 and worked in
manufacturing and Quality Control for a multinational photographic
company for 30 years before taking an early retirement to pursue other
interests.
He is the published author of seven volumes of Quirky Verse, fve
volumes of Short Stories, and a series of Detective Stories. He has two
grown up children and currently lives happily in Devon.
You can fnd out more about Barnaby Wilde and his books at
www.barnaby-wilde.co.uk
20 Independent Media Inspiring Minds
